COmmitment Day three

Commitment To Our Kids

My wife and I enjoy five kids and our first grandchild was born in December this year. Let me just start out by saying that raising kids is hard. It is also, however, one of the greatest joys that I've experienced. I still can remember each child being born and the joy, with somewhat a bit of fear, when each little bundle was delivered into the world. They are each unique, with their own gifts, way of thinking, speaking, attitudes, and how they see the world. For my wife and I, who has homeschooled all of them (we have two done, and three more to go), they bring us immense joy to see how each of them interacts with the world around them. That, of course, also brings many challenges!

I don't know what generation you grew up in, but my generation, we had to actively search out inappropriate material. Whether it was sneaking an R-rated movie, looking at magazines, or listening to music that wasn't appropriate, I had to make a conscious effort. I'm eternally grateful that I did not grow up today. Today, the world is so different. I heard on a podcast the other day that we literally have "sex ghosts" in our pockets on these electronic devices that we can access anytime, anywhere, with virtually no cost or shame (meaning you don't have to go into a store and buy something, hoping you don't run into somebody you know.) Our kids are growing up in a world that has hedonism as its commercial. Boys no longer need to find the Sears catalog to oogle at a woman in lingerie, they can be watching an age appropriate show and a commercial comes on for risque lingerie. And when I say commercial, I mean even an ad on a streaming service. Girls are bombarded with images of "sexy" dances, or messages how they will find pleasure in giving up their bodies to others, because that somehow empowers them. It is almost impossible to hide from this these days. I'm grateful for having a firm foundation to stand on when I'm tempted, but my children are still growing, and their brains are not fully developed for critical thinking.

So commitment to parent is huge here. We recently started requiring our 11 year old son to leave his door open when he is playing video games, or watching streaming services. While we do spot checks on what our kids watch, but it is harder and harder to really keep track without shutting everything off. So we make him keep his door open and we can see what he is watching. Now, thankfully he has not really been exposed to the dark side and when he sees people kissing, it is still "gross." Our daughters we do the same with monitoring and regularly checking on what they are watching. It is a major commitment here, but it is vital. Even though, kids will see stuff and you'll be shocked later they saw, or watched something. The best you can do is model good behavior, and we do our best to limit watching any adult themed shows in front of the kids, and we ourselves, avoid garbage. Being vigilant here is no small task, but you will save your kids a lot of mental anguish if you put even a little effort into it! I'll add here as well, that even though a lot of this seems relatively new to our world, and I had wondered how Jesus, or the Apostles, would be able to understand what the world looks like today. How could they possibly understand how hard it is for us to survive in a hedonistic world, where your eyes can easily feast. Rome. History tells us that Rome was very hedonistic, and their desire for the flesh would have been apparent everywhere. So while we struggle with the electronic versions, they would have had to endure this live, in the flesh.

Commitment to our kids isn't just about protecting them though. It is not just about making sure they don't see stuff, endure stuff, or having a well rounded life. All of those are good, sure, but that is not the most important part of being a parent. Being a parent, and I'll tell you that I struggle here with my 6 year old daughter, is about being present. Those little electronic devices make it so easy to get distracted from the immediate world around us. I may sit down after a long day at work, and open up Instragram, or Facebook, to take a look at the news, or updates from those I keep track of, and soon, an hour is gone. I've literally wasted an hour of my time getting sucked into the narcissistic word. At the same time, I've probably toward my daughter that I need some time to relax, when she has been waiting all day to have time with me. This is something I'm consciously working on, and it's something that Jesus has a lot to say about. He wants us to be present in the world of our families, even when we want to relax, or be distracted, because He is there for us. The King of the Universe is willing to listen to my prayers, concerns, pain, complaints, and on....and He has no obligation to. He loves me enough that He not only will listen to me, but He was willing to go to the Cross for me. We are responsible for setting that example so we are not a hindrance to our children.

I don't know how old your kids are, but it is never too late to show them this kind of love. It will not be easy. But what part of our faith is easy? Did Jesus say "I'm here, go relax, everything in your life here will be smooth sailing."? Of course He didn't, He said this world would be hard. The world hates us, but it will do its best to make you think it loves you and it will do all it can to distract you. We can choose right now to be Jesus to our children, or the world to them. It's an easy choice, but one is much harder. You may think I spend a lot of time with my kids now, but maybe your kids are all young and you are young and full of energy. It gets harder, but take account of the joy you have now, and work hard to carry it through as they grow...and you grow tired! Maybe your kids are all teens now and connecting with them is so hard. Truth there! Show them you love them as Jesus loves you. Pursue them. Make the little interactions count. Praise them for their successes. Comfort them during their valleys. Maybe your kids all are grown up and you've lost connection with them. Grab a few cards at the store today and send them notes about how much you love them. Make it simple. Remind them that you are here for them, even if you haven't been. There is no better day to start being a good parent, than today.

As a Christian we can reflect on the path others have taken. Jesus was brutally tortured and went to the cross. All but one Apostle, John, was martyred for their faith. There is Joy knowing we have a God that will stand by us through the valleys and mountains. It is vital that we dive into Scripture each day, commune with the Lord, and serve Him boldly, so when we find our commitments hard in life, we can draw on the strength He provides to us. And when we do this, our kids will see a Godly man.

Jeremiah 1:5

Matthew 19:14

Luke 6:12

Challenge Day 3

Send each of your kids a letter. I'll make it easy for you, do it on small card stock. Tell them one thing you love about them. Tell them how much you love them. And find Scripture that has encouraged you, and use it to encourage them!

On to Day 4